Mum’s Mindset – A personal account from Kate Morland (co-founder/owner, Dietitian, PT, Mindfulness Coach, Mum-of-4)
Rollercoasters. What comes to mind? Ups and downs, laughter and tears, excitement and dread all in one ride.
Anyone relate? Motherhood sure is like one rollercoaster ride and I’m not one to paint life in glitter; it can be challenging, albeit rewarding. The hard part for me has been navigating the unpredictable, the pressure of getting things right, being the best version as a mum and all the while ensuring I retain an identity that’s about me as a person, not solely as a mum.
We (Toby and I) had 4 daughters over a short space of time, whilst starting and building a business and it wasn’t without a huge amount of support. Here is what I have tried really hard to start and keep doing for my “Mum’s mindset” over the past 13 years…
- Set non-negotiables. Create an active identity so my kids know and expect me as mum to get out for a run, a walk, hit of tennis or my fave reformer pilates class. My mindset has been about making non-negotiables in my routine. Just as I make sure the kids get to their tennis game, I too get to my class.
- Set realistic expectations and be adaptable. Throughout pregnancies and between I recall pushing the double buggy, coaxing another on a bike, with a baby in my belly and expected it to not go always to plan. There would be times I’d have to bribe the kids to keep biking the last 300m or stay put in their buggy, or detour for toilet stops. I think this mindset always helped me avoid dissatisfaction if things didn’t go to plan. Be ready to adapt.
- Give yourself permission to get it wrong. The idea that we will succeed in every aspect of parenting is just not going to happen. I have learnt over the years to accept I’ll get things wrong, that I may need to apologise to the kids for my behaviour or for missing something like a tooth that needs attention! I always remember my dad telling me ‘we did not get given a parenting guidebook, we’ll get things wrong’.
- Don’t be a mum on the sidelines. A few years ago I jumped (very reluctantly) off the wharf at Tolaga Bay. Some might say “why?”. Purely the only reason was I wanted to be involved with what the kids were doing, and just as they take on new challenges, I too as an adult and mum, could too despite my fear. I hear many women say that the dad has the fun role, playful and interactive whereas mums are often the practical one, planning meals, sorting the drawers…but we are in control of what identity we want to create for ourselves. Don’t be scared to try.
I love being a mum. I love that I get to role model, inspire and help shape 4 humans every day. I also love looking up to my own mum for guidance, inspiration and support. Happy mothers day!
